Well, been a few weeks since I wrote in here, I've now been working at Muzz Buzz for about 3 weeks, almost, and tonight was my first shift alone, closing up by myself. I don't really know what's wrong with me, I think I'm just so scared of the fact that I might have messed up something really bad, cos I really want to keep this job, but I can't stop running over and over again in my head what I did last at the shop. Did I put everything away, clean everything, get everything in, turn everything off. Its like I have to run through the list every 5 minutes and I just have this awful gut feeling that I forgot something and I'm gonna get this massive grilling tomorrow. I know for one that I left a milk jug in the sink, I just forgot all about it, and I know they wont fire me over a damn milk jug, but I so wanted everything to be perfect my first night. I really wanted to show them what I was made of and I just have this nagging feeling that I've messed up something else too and maybe they'll think that I'm not able to cope or something, which is stupid cos it was just the first of my shifts alone, and I should get some kind of grace period, right? I think I left the air con on or something, but I can't remember for sure, and I really wish I could stop going over and over this in my mind, I mean, who really cares? Its only one time, I'll be able to work the kinks out eventually. I just know that the other girl they hired is working a lot more than I am, and she caught on so much quicker than me, and I feel like I'm just not working up to standard and that this is going to back fire on me some how. I mean, if I can't show that I'm going to be able to work hard and get things done properly then I'll never get any more shifts, and I might even lose the job I have, and if that happens I don't know what I'll do.

Damnit, would you listen to me? I mean, geese, I really need to calm down, I'm going mental.

Edit: Apparently my worries were founded, I lost my job, but not because of anything I did, because they were getting complaints about customers service, mostly because they had so many new people on, I was the unlucky new kid picked out to take the fall.